Socially Acceptable Rehoming; The Quiet Phenomenon in Adoption

I remember pulling into the parking lot. Feelings of abandonment, unworthiness, rejection, and fear surged through my body and mind. Before coming to the residential treatment facility, I was housed in an inpatient hospital. Not because I fit the requirements (because I did not) but because my parents refused to let me back in theirContinue reading “Socially Acceptable Rehoming; The Quiet Phenomenon in Adoption”

Genetic Essentialism and Why it is Important to Understand in Adoption

When I was given the entirely too large stack of files from my childhood late last year, it was a lot to process. The files contained everything from my childhood; before and after Foster care and my adoption. It contained items such as newborn discharge paperwork, evaluations, IEPS, report cards, even short stories I wrote.Continue reading “Genetic Essentialism and Why it is Important to Understand in Adoption”

A Story Untold: My First Mother; Ann Marie

The anniversary of my first mother’s death is here. She passed away last year on November 3, 2019. Her name was Ann Marie. Last week I was sitting in the Costco parking lot and read a post on Facebook around loss. Immediately I began to cry. I sat in the Costco parking lot for 45Continue reading “A Story Untold: My First Mother; Ann Marie”

“She’s Beautiful” is not an Acceptable Answer

For as long as I can remember, my looks were a focus of conversation. As a transracially adopted child, growing up, a wide range of individuals (family members, church members, friends, classmates, and even teachers and professionals) commented on my hair, my facial features and my body. I grew up in a predominantly white space,Continue reading ““She’s Beautiful” is not an Acceptable Answer”

The Dawn of Discovering Racial Identity as a Transracial Adoptee

I grew up in a conservative Christian adoptive home. My white adoptive parents subscribed to a colorblind mindset. Because of that, I grew up feeling uncomfortable embracing my identity as a BIPOC. The same people who claimed they did not see skin color were also those that called attention to how mine did not match.Continue reading “The Dawn of Discovering Racial Identity as a Transracial Adoptee”

4 Simple Responses Instead of “I Understand” During Tough Conversations with your Adopted Child

With each new racial injustice making the news, I know the work my clients will bring with them to our next therapy session. We will set aside their goals and what we had planned to discuss. My clients’ need to process continued trauma to their community will take precedence over everything else. Increasingly over theContinue reading “4 Simple Responses Instead of “I Understand” During Tough Conversations with your Adopted Child”

A Snapshot; Growing up as an Over- and Misdiagnosed Transracial Adoptee

Lately, I sift through files given to me months ago. I go slowly, because there is a lot. The files go back to when I entered foster care at the age of two weeks. They contain every imaginable detail of a young child’s life. They contain evidence of the systemic racism, discrimination, and stereotyping oneContinue reading “A Snapshot; Growing up as an Over- and Misdiagnosed Transracial Adoptee”

Boundaries, Privacy and Adoption: When an Adoptee’s Safe Space and Narrative is Taken

I want to discuss boundaries and Privacy in relation to adoption. I want us to look a little closer. These excerpts were taken from my personal journal when I was between the ages of 14-16 years old. I struggled greatly during this time for many reasons. Some things that unfold right in these pages. AsContinue reading “Boundaries, Privacy and Adoption: When an Adoptee’s Safe Space and Narrative is Taken”

Adoption Positive Discipline Methods

So better late than never! I had some technical difficulty getting this posted on Sunday, so if you were expecting this. I do apologize! This post is going to be full of different techniques and methods that I have researched and found to be the most effective when we take into account a child’s history,Continue reading “Adoption Positive Discipline Methods”

The Internal Conflict of “self-care” as an Adoptee

Self-Care – That word that has been shouted around the last few years. It’s been used and overused. The list of popular trendy words has self-care at the top (next to toxic). It’s interesting, if you would have asked me if I practiced self-care last year, I would have said “No, I don’t have time”.Continue reading “The Internal Conflict of “self-care” as an Adoptee”